Elephant Adventure - REVISED Itinery

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NB All times approximate and subject to drastic change without notice.


Day One
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6:30am - Land Rover arrives at Jambo Inn. Sing Land Rover's praises over the alternative Toyota Land Cruiser. Start loading up.
7:00am - Pick Sandy up from his cousin's house and then go to Elephant's office to pay final money.
8:30am - Finally leave Dar.
9:00am - Stop on outskirts of Dar to buy lunch/mineral water from supermarket.
9:30am - Finally leave Dar.
Lunchtime-ish - Stop to reattach accelerator cable on Land Rover. Sing praises again at the vehicle's simplicity (something not to be found in a Toyota).
- Stop for petrol and lunch.
- Stop to reattach accelerator cable on Land Rover and bang unidentified component back into shape before re-fitting.
4:00pm - Arrive at Mbega campsite just outside Selous Game Reserve. Unload and set up tents.
5:30pm - Leave for first game drive in Selous. See baboons, warthogs and impala (small antelope).
5:45pm - Accelerator cable snaps. Snoopy (our driver) opens bonnet, and sets acceleration to a constant amount. Continue on game drive, using brakes to control speed. Marvel again at the simplicity. Balancing stood on the seats looking out of the roof of the Land Rover becomes more troublesome. Animals frightened away by the noise whenever we stop. See more impala.
5:50pm - Turn around and return to the camp.
6:10pm - Arrive back at camp. Watch the Land Rover's tyres smoking. Go to look at sunset from the riverside bar (that's Rufiji River). Drink beer. Talk to the Germans.
8:00pm - Dinner. Delicious beef stew, served up by our cook, Diko-Diko.
- Agree time for walk safari the next morning. Shortage of rangers so agree to accompany the two Dutch blokes sharing our campsite, at 8:30am.


Day Two
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8:00am - Tea and bisuits to keep us going until proper breakfast.
8:30am - Start walk safari with armed ranger. See lots of birds and footprints. See impala and warthogs from a distance. Enter copse of trees with warnings from ranger that there may be leopards, lions, elephants, etc in the trees. Ranger slings rifle off his back. Walk through trees and come out the other side.
10:30am - Return to breakfast. Omelette, beans and toast, and lots of fruit. Shower.
11:30am - Land Rover accelerator cable still not replaced as is not available in the reserve. Use the Dutch guys' Toyota Land Cruiser instead, as they are doing something else.
11:40am - See some giraffe close to vehicle and excited take multiple photographs.
11:45am - See some more giraffe and take more photos.
11:50am - See some more giraffe.
12:00noon - See several crocodiles slink into water as we drive next to river and take several photos of a herd of hippos in the water near the bank.
12:15pm - See some more giraffe.
12:30pm - See some more giraffe at 15 minute intervals until:
2:00pm - Ignore some giraffe and instead look at some hippos in the far distance.
2:15pm - Push start Toyota Land Cruiser next to crocodile-infested river.
3:00pm - Stop for a rest on another river bank. See some giraffe in the distance.
3:30pm - Push start Toyota Land Cruiser next to crocodile-infested river.
4:00pm - Arrive back at the camp for lunch.
4:30pm - Arrive down at the bar to start boat safari as agreed. Boat on other side of river, having just started the trip with the Dutch guys, Peter and Mark. Snoopy calls the boat over, and the guide brings them all the way across the expansive width of the Rufiji, in order to say, "No, I was only told 2 people."
4:31pm - Drink beer. Agree to have sunrise boat safari instead of sunset.
6:30pm - Dutch guys return and drink beer.
7:00pm - Snoopy tells us a story about two previous difficult customers, an Italian man and a Czech woman. Story ends with the two men agreeing to fight and Snoopy breaking a beer bottle on a table, thus causing the fight never to happen.
7:30pm - Dinner. Another feast courtesy of Diko-Diko. Play "Last Card" for a while. Phil breaks chair.


Day Three
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6:00am - Fall out of the tents. Shiver.
6:30am - Start boat safari. Shiver. See sunrise. Shiver.
6:45am - See hippos. Shiver.
6:50am - See some interesting birds (bee-eaters, etc). Sun gets stronger and shivering decreases.
7:00am - Continue seeing bee-eaters and other birds. The little buggers fly away whenever you point a camera at them.
7:45am - See some monkeys coming to the bank to get some sun. Probably White Colobus Monkeys.
7:55am - See some more hippos.
8:00am - Get stuck on sand bank. Driver pushes us off with some difficulty.
8:30am - Finish boat safari and have breakfast.
10:00am - Finish packing up tents and bags, and leave for Mikumi, traveling through Selous. Land Rover fitted with hand-operated accelerator, fashioned from bits of wire.
- Speed safari (about 30-40mph, conservative estimate, I'm told) through Selous, seeing giraffes, zebras, giraffes, impala, elephants, impala, giraffes, wildebeest and giraffes.
12:30pm - Arrive at reserve gate. Snoop and Diko go to fix Land Rover. Be told by a manager/official how Selous has the largest population of wild dogs in the world, after having seen none, and that the road direct to Mikumi National Park is in too poor a state after this year's rains, so we will have to go there via Morogoro. Pass the time eating lunch and making our entries for our Euro2004 prediction sweepstake.
2:30pm - Leave Selous properly and start off towards Morogoro. Take in the beautiful Jurassic-esque scenery in the region from our standing position in the back of the Land Rover. Shit ourselves as we career round corners on a mountain road, dodging potholes that force us near the edge, and swerving to avoid trucks coming the other way on the narrow roads.
7:30pm - Get to Morogoro after dark and stop for some petrol. Get some Pepsi and agree with Snoop that we won't camp tonight and stay in a guest house instead.
8:00pm - Try to overtake an oil tanker that speeds up whenever we try to pass. Get a puncture in doing so. Stop on road in the dark to change tyre. It's not the Land Rover's fault.
9:00pm - Arrive at Guest House and get a beer. Talk to drunken Swiss man who asks us why we're not staying at his guest house. His drunken Swedish friend joins in. Saved by someone coming to show us where our rooms are.
Shortly after - have dinner and then watch La Mujer De Mi Vida, a hilariously trashy dubbed Venezuelan soap opera set in Miami. Sleep.


Day Four
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7:00am - Get up, shower, breakfast.
8:15am - Leave for morning game drive. See some elephants a few yards from the road on the way. Cameras not ready.
8:45am - Arrive at Mikumi National Park gate. Gate closed. Snoop suggests we look in the museum. Huge group of locals in the small room, having photos taken next to stuffed impala, one by one, get in the way. Phil roped into joining one man's photo. Beard suggested as reason for singling him out from the others. Proximity also possible cause.
9:15am - Enter park. See impala.
9:20am - See some more giraffe, with zebra.
9:30am - See some more giraffe, with some more zebra, and wildebeest.
Continue to see impala, giraffe, zebra, wildebeest, elephants, etc. ad nauseum.
11:30am - See herd of buffalo. Stop right next to them in vain hope of seeing a lion, and maybe even getting some action shots.
12:00pm - Talk to Snoop about how you don't see many other vehicles because the park is so large, which is really nice.
12:01pm - Pass another vehicle.
12:03pm - Pass another vehicle.
12:08pm - Pass another vehicle.
12:15pm - Meet two other vehicles at a junction, impala frollicking in between.
12:30pm - Stop and take photos of us pretending to be different animals on the roof of the Land Rover. Marvel at the versatility of the vehicle.
1:30pm - Start to lose hope of seeing any big cats. Conversation turns to football. Scottish football.
2:30pm - Return to guest house. Have lunch.
3:30pm - Leave guest house. During journey, play childish game to see who can induce the most enthusiastic wave from the locals.
5:00pm - Arrive at Udzungwa Mountains National Park HQ. Pick up leaflet and decide to continue on as planned for canoeing on the Kilombero River the next morning (even though canoeing originally planned for this evening).
6:00pm - Arrive in town in Kilombero. Sit on Land Rover while Snoop and Diko search the guest houses for rooms. Give impromtu English lesson to some children.
6:40pm - Snoop returns in nick of time - children starting to test our Swahili. Drive across road to New Florida Motel. Manager greets us enthusiastically, and introduces us to the owner and his wife.
6:45pm - Enter room and marvel at two armchairs, large double bed, and shiny bathroom with western-style toilet. Plan on taking a quick shower.
6:46pm - Turn one of the taps. Nothing happens.
7:00pm - Drink beer. Start watching Portugal vs Greece. Greece take a surprise early lead. Phil feels smug that he has made a similar prediction in the sweepstake.
7:30pm - Man approaches and tells us he "noticed" us arriving, and that he is an immigration officer and would like to see our passports. He shows us ID. Go to seek help and advice from Snoopy.
7:45pm - Agree to show him passports. Adam and Sandy worry as their passports were, for no apparent reason, not processed by immigration when sent off, and their original single entry visa has expired.
8:10pm - Officer takes an age to inspect passports, then calls on Sandy. Snoop sits in reception with Sandy and the Imm.Off. while the others continue to watch football. Greece score again.
8:20pm - Adam now called upon.
8:30pm - Go to investigate. Explain the situation. Imm.Off. looks nervy and jumpy. Has kicked up a fuss about Sandy's passport only (only needs to confiscate one to induce a bribe). Get Snoop to phone John (SPW staff) on his mobile phone. John can't do much on a Saturday night. Manager not happy about the disturbance, asks us to go and enjoy the football.
8:40pm - Imm.Off. now has upper hand, and makes transformation from "nervy and jumpy" to "unbearably smug". Confiscates passport, and agreed that it will be held in the hotel safe overnight, before meeting at 7 in the morning. Portugal pull one back.
8:50pm - Imm.Off. comes into bar, grinning from ear to ear, tells us he'll see us in the morning. Notice that manager also looks very pleased with himself. Suspect a phone call was made on our arrival. Decide it best that only two or three of us meet him at seven.
9:45pm - Spain vs Russia kicks off. Boring, boring, boring. Phil repeatedly falls asleep in the second half.


Day Five
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7:00am - Wake up. Imm.Off. still not arrived. Wonder how long he will keep us waiting as part of his "strategy".
7:45am - Hot-bucket-of-water wash and breakfast. Imm.Off. has arrived and has gone off with Snoopy only, to his office. Shows Snoopy an Italian's passport who had a similar problem over a year ago, but chose a different option - doing a runner.
8:30am - Snoop and Imm.Off. return with agreed "fee" of $50, after claiming that Sandy should buy a Business Visa for $400 (utter crap, should be a working visa for $100). Sandy says he has only 25,000/= ($25) and his friends will look to see what they have. Hands over the 25,000. Imm.Off. is satisfied and doesn't hang around.
9:00am - Pack up and leave for the canoeing on the Kilombero River.
10:30am - Arrive for canoeing. Hollowed out wooden canoes with one oarman at the back and a big-stick-man at the front. Proper name for big-stick-man unknown. Stuart's camera used by one of the big-stick-men to take an unorthodox diagonal picture of Stuart, Sandy and Adam in their boat.
11:00am - See lots of birds. Land on a beach to take a closer look. Ask if there's many crocodiles.
11:30am - Stop at a riverside cafe (handful of women cooking on bank) for some chai and wali na maharage (rice and beans). Buy food for the canoe people. Have another unorthodox diagonal picture of the whole group. Suspect he didn't get us all in.
12:30pm - Return to Land Rover. Quick soda. Leave for Iringa.
3:00pm - Standing with head out of roof, Stuart's hat blows off. Hat goes to good home.
7:15pm - Becomes dark and no one else dips headlights. Be quite scared. Arrive in areas of the Hehe tribe. Know this because of drunk people wandering aimlessly across street.
7:25pm - Swerve to avoid a drunk person.
7:50pm - Swerve to avoid a drunk person.
7:55pm - Swerve to avoid a lorry that doesn't dip its headlights.
8:10pm - Swerve to avoid a drunk person.
8:30pm - Arrive back in Iringa. Decide to stay in Ambassadors'. Stop just behind taxi, and put stone infront of wheel to stop it rolling forward. Start getting out of Land Rover.
8:31pm - Land Rover rolls into back of taxi. No damage done. Still Switzerland 0 Croatia 0. Get rooms in Ambassadors' and Kilimanjaro Guest House. Wendy arrives.
9:30pm - Go to Twisters to watch England match and eat. Give well-deserved tip to Snoop and Diko and buy them dinner.
9:45pm-11:30pm - Enjoy match. England look to be heading for a solid 1-0 victory against the tournament favourites, France.
11:30pm-11:35pm - Crumple in disbelief as England capitulate and lose 2-1. Go back to the room and to bed.